I hate you so much I can't even think of everything I want to say to you. In a way, you were my first actual love, and such an integral part of my life I don't even realize you're gone.
You are going to hell and I dread the day I meet you there. You know you're going there, even if it isn't real, because you already live in it. In a 960 sq ft house with black mold, no insulation, drenched in misery and marijuana, on a road so backwards it has no service.
You're a coward, a manipulator, a fake, and you're going to stay in that holler for the rest of your fucking life. You're going to marry a chud (never a woman!) because you are a chud. You're going to pop out four or five kids just like your mother who will meet your exact fate and probably won't have a father just like you. They're going to live off food stamps and money from whatever man you can scum it off of.
God is not real. "He" does not exist, there is zero evidence of his existence, and that is why you rely on faith. Your problems are very real and you pretend they aren't with "God" and your mommy's tit. I don't know how an invisible man who doesn't even exist can get between so many of your relationships, but he's really fucking good at it.
You are a bad person but it is not at all for the reasons you think. You're a bad person because you lead people close to you on; you let them stay around you knowing what they feel for you. You're a bad person because you take no agency over your decisions or your life until it doesn't matter. You're a bad person because you defend the wrong people. You're a bad person because you're a hypocrite. You're a bad person because of everything you have done to me that I "let slide." Staying friends with he who shall not be named, leading me on and calling me a "temptation," mooching from my family, pretending to care about my feelings up until you can't hide your true nature anymore.
You're not a bad person because you have school friends you don't care for, or because you watch gay porn, or because you've had feelings for other women. You're a bad person because you have hurt other people and admitted that you don't care at all, while all at the same time making them seem like they do nothing but treat you like shit.
You are just like your mother.
Your art is soulless, your brain is fried, and your life ends here. I'm glad.